Their pattern and patter is always the same: pictures of "beautiful people" enjoying the good life (a.k.a. the life you should be having) and always a pushy narrator explaining that all this could be yours if only you'd send some non-trivial amount of money to the producers of the story and, what's more, you won't have to work! Nada - you need to nothing more than send money!

Once you send that magic check, or give the precious credit card number, nirvana will be yours effortlessly (whether nirvana means losing weight - and we mean serious weight as opposed to "5 or 10" vanity pounds, or, reaping ATM fees from ATMs you've invested in that are placed in "choice locations" (hurry, the good ones are being snapped up!), or, perhaps becoming an IT professional by sending off for free CDs (you just pay "shipping") that explain how Windows XP works (perhaps these could be sent to Microsoft to help its hard working programmers get the next, safer version out?), or, perhaps just being fortunate enough to attend a lecture or two given by some famous motivational (and successful) speaker who'll explain to you how to find your core strengths, stay energized and come up with a gig as good as his - i.e. getting people to pay small fortunes to hear him say what they'd like him to say about them, etc.

The list of opportunities is endless ... but the message is always the same:

Hey you! I mean you, couch-boy (or girl) ... see this dream life? It could be yours and you don't even have to move your butt further than the phone. Just send me money and I'll show you how, rent you the gear, sell you the supplies, or whatever. You won't have to do anything - just sit back and watch it roll in ...

The sad thing is that enough people must buy this line of manure because the airwaves, netwaves and cablewaves are full of these pitches and they don't seem to be going away at all. That means, people are buying into the schemes. In fact, in the cable/broadcast world, the later you get at night, the more frequently these things interrupt your programming. Is it just cheaper or are night owls just more likely to follow these paths of the soon to be fleeced?

As someone said, just say "no".

There's no real way to get to the easy life without doing the work. Very, very few people get away with that. Even the bozos pushing these messages are hard at work - it obviously takes a lot of talking to hoodwink enough of the public to make a buck these days! Obviously the country's gone to the dogs ...

As in all things, there are bozos on both sides of this equation: the suppliers of the magic pixie dust and the consumers who get duped into putting down their ready cash.

Come on people - lets all get a life and leave the bozos on the supply side of this equation to twiddle their thumbs next to phones that never ring:

Don't call now, leave those operators standing by. And, remember, Ginsu knives are not all they are cracked up to be.